Review: Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

Series: Song of Ice and Fire, #3
Published: August 10, 2000
Publisher: Random House
Pages: 1177

Here is the third volume in George R. R. Martin’s magnificent cycle of novels that includes A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings. As a whole, this series comprises a genuine masterpiece of modern fantasy, bringing together the best the genre has to offer. Magic, mystery, intrigue, romance, and adventure fill these pages and transport us to a world unlike any we have ever experienced. Already hailed as a classic, George R. R. Martin’s stunning series is destined to stand as one of the great achievements of imaginative fiction. 
Of the five contenders for power, one is dead, another in disfavor, and still the wars rage as violently as ever, as alliances are made and broken. Joffrey, of House Lannister, sits on the Iron Throne, the uneasy ruler of the land of the Seven Kingdoms. His most bitter rival, Lord Stannis, stands defeated and disgraced, the victim of the jealous sorceress who holds him in her evil thrall. But young Robb, of House Stark, still rules the North from the fortress of Riverrun. Robb plots against his despised Lannister enemies, even as they hold his sister hostage at King’s Landing, the seat of the Iron Throne. Meanwhile, making her way across a blood-drenched continent is the exiled queen, Daenerys, mistress of the only three dragons still left in the world. . . .
But as opposing forces maneuver for the final titanic showdown, an army of barbaric wildlings arrives from the outermost line of civilization. In their vanguard is a horde of mythical Others—a supernatural army of the living dead whose animated corpses are unstoppable. As the future of the land hangs in the balance, no one will rest until the Seven Kingdoms have exploded in a veritable storm of swords. . .

I'm about to have a lot of fun with this review.

The book was awesome. Obviously. A lot of people tell me it was their favorite in the series, and I can see why.

No, really, I mean it! Totally fantastic, and worthwhile, and not at all surprising!

See what I did there? Nope? Well, dang.

Don't worry, I'm maintaining my usual "No Spoilers" policy. You will not hear of deaths or betrayals or scandalous deeds from this blog. They do occur, of course, no worries there.

So, what can I say. Well, for once I wasn't frustratingly flipping through chapters to find an agreeable viewpoint. I can fairly say there wasn't a dull moment in this book. Screw it. Words won't work with this. You want a review? I'll give you a review. Here's what I think of Storm of Swords...in GIF form!

So everything begins and you think all seven hells have broken loose. Nope, it's quite trivial in the grand scheme of things.

And then lots of backstabbing happens.

And you think

But most especially Joffrey. And you imagine this happening. 

Once more for good measure...

But the real drama breaks out and it hurts. It hurts guys. It hurts exactly this much

Meanwhile, the real Queen of Westeros is off being awesome, and everyone should be afraid the day she flies her dragons over.

And then it ends. And revelation hits.

* trifled feelings dissolve into nothing*